I fucking hate my ISP so fucking much

So my internet service cuts out all the time. I've called my ISP thousands of times, and they make it a pain in the urethra every time. They don't have a phone line for tech support only, so I have to call, confirm I'm calling about my own plan, select 2 for home wifi, hear that my bills are paid, hear when I'll have to pay the next one, dial 3 for tech support, dial 3 again for home wifi, and then, one of two things can happen:

1. I get told the amount of my next bill and that I can pay it via the app and the call hangs up.
2. My bills are all paid, and my upcoming bill hasn't been generated yet so I don't get booted out for not having paid a bill that hasn't expired yet.

1. I get told by the automated voice that I can administrate my tech support through the app and the call hangs up.
2. I get told there is a generalised outage in my area that will be solved by the end of the day.
3. I have to dial 2 to let the automated voice I am near my router, and then they say they'll send "an important update" to it, which makes the router turn off and on again remotely, and makes any tech support calls to my ISP for the next 10 minutes go nowhere.
4. I have to dial 2 to let the automated voice I'm near my router and either because I already called and got the previous outcome, or because the planets align, I get put on a 2 minute wait line to get in touch with a tech support person.

If I get outcome 2, I get 50gb of free mobile data I can use only when setting my phone as a mobile hotspot for the next 24 hours, fucking hooray.

Whenever I call and I'm deemed worthy of speaking to a human fucking being it's a different excuse. "Reset your router", "your cables might be damged", "the building's antenna or whatever must've gotten disconnected due to the wind", every time it's something, and every time, they promise to assign a technician to my case.
IF the technician shows up, they never find anything wrong with my internet, cables, modem, or the building's internet shitbox. I never understood why this kept happening until one technician told me it's not about my internet, it's about my whole neighbourhood's underground cables, which they HAVE NOT FIXED IN YEARS.
Apparently, the poor bastards who work at tech support, bless their exploited and mistreated hearts, have to give you an excuse that can be linked to you, so you can feel like something can be done. Nobody has explicitly said that to me, but that's the only fucking thing that makes sense.

Plus, their phone menu changes every other week, so I can't just speed dial the numbers whenever I call, I have to listen to make sure it hasn't changed all of a sudden.
Double-plus, I found out if you have a technician visit scheduled on your address, you can't call tech support AT ALL, or go through the app for the free data, because they just say "your tech support visit is scheduled for dd/mm"

All the other ISPs are like this, they're all dogshit.

It's sickening, it's denigrating, I feel like the service being provided isn't for me, but rather that I'm an obstacle between the company and my wallet, which itself is an obstacle between the company and increasing their stock value.